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.................comparing pears and gorillas Just call me Pears. I am a 22 year old female who likes to write and read. I love to swap stories and meet new fascinating people. My favorite activities besides sex are classical Ballet, dancing, cooking, and scrapbooking. I also enjoy writing realistic fiction. I think for the most part I am pretty open minded. You can never compare two guys.........that would be like comparing pears and gorillas.

Friday, November 9, 2012

The Case of Sickness Induced Celibacy and Medication Dampened Libido


Getting up everyday and going to a job consumes creative energy within me. So instead of expending energy to write, scrapbook, dance, or paint I stare at the television or sleep. Sexual intercourse also loses some of its luster when one is not engaging in other stimulating pursuits. At this point in time, however, I am not working. I am on medical leave from my job because my health is not progressing. This gives me some free time, while sitting waiting for my colon to heal, to ponder my sexual activities.

Pondering my sex life produces a variety of feelings. One feeling is that it is good to be having sex again. However, I feel slightly disappointed that I had not been having sexual intercourse as often as I should have been. My lover is quite understanding; he got by masturbating onto my smooth skin for three weeks prior to me being hospitalized. The week I was in the hospital, he got nothing. It was a great relief when we were finally able to have coitus once more. We have been having sex every time we see each other because at this point in time I am well enough to have intercourse and I have some energy to perform. I use intercourse as a form of exercise.

My sex drive is not as strong as it once was. My sex drive rivaled that of my male counterpart. This made use quite compatible in the bedroom, the living room, staircases, back seats, parks, and anywhere else the mood strikes. Now it takes a little bit of work for me to feel aroused. Being perpetually wet has not changed, but the warm fuzzy feeling in my loins does not come with the mere thought of sexual contact. I no longer view pornography and have not masturbated in months. Pleasuring my self was an event that would take place multiple times a week in addition to having intercourse or other sexual encounters with my current love or past partners. Often I would take time to engage in self love, admiring my body much like a fine piece art. I would enjoy the look of my body in a mirror, taking in all my curves. Other times, I would become so aroused without any direct stimulation that I would quickly need to masturbate to relieve the pressure. At time I would just sit, thinking intently about sexual interactions to cause my body to become aroused. This is no longer the case. It has almost become normal for me not to engage in self-stimulation, which for me is bizarre considering the frequency at which it used to occur. This is only the first example of my decreased libido.

Sexual thoughts no longer occupy my conscious mind. Daydreaming about sex is no longer common place in my daily life. My clitoris used to engorge with desire at the thought of my lover’s broad shoulders and the nail marks littering his skin. I no longer have these thoughts on a regular basis. I also no longer have an outrageous physical to sexual content. Other’s sexual encounters that I observe or hear about no longer create the same craving for carnal knowledge as before. It takes more physical stimulation from my lover and his nimble fingers. I do not engage in the strenuous marathon sex sessions that used to dominate my interactions. Twice a day is now peak for me, which is far from what it was. I no longer have the burning desire to suck my lover’s cock for the hell of it. This is new territory for me; it is slightly upsetting when I spend any amount of time thinking about it. I hope and pray that I am not turning into “that girl.” The more logical explanation, I believe, is illness and medication. I am thinking my decreased libido is a side effect of being ill and taking a host of medications. I have Crohn’s disease that is not well controlled and has not been for some time. As a result of this, I take many medications. I take nine different medications and a bunch of vitamins totally in over twenty pills a day.


I long for the sexual encounters I experienced early in the summer. My dear and I spent a glorious night out on his grandparents’ boat. I rode him like a champ and had multiple orgasms. I gripped the edge skylight and used it for extra leverage to ride his cock like I owned it. This was after he has already busted all over my breast. Soon I hope to regain this fierce attitude. Until then, I will continue to get it when I can.

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