Wanting Intense Role Play?

When role playing, both partners have to be in character, or the passion and excitement is lost. I found this out this past Saturday while I went to my SO’s apartment in my plaid skirt and fishnets. I was innocent school girl going to the principal’s office for uniform violations. However, my SO totally did not get into his role as he should have. It was under-stimulating for me.

So now the question is, how do I approach the situation? Do I talk to him about how he needs to get more involved in the fantasy? Or do I just try again?

Personally, I believe he just has not had much experience with women who want to role play and want to be degraded while being fucked. Sometimes I can see he is kind of intimidated by my experience in the realm of role play and bondage. Hopefully he will come around and I will be able to be my usual self in the bedroom.

Increase Your Attractiveness Rating 3 Points: Swallow

On a radio show played in the area in which I lived a man called in to report to the DJ how his girlfriend who was “like a 5” swallows and how because she swallowed she became “like an 8.” My SO was tempted to call in and tell the DJ and through the airwaves this other guy that with that logic I must be like a 12. When my SO told me this, I must say my confidence went crashing through the roof. But in the back of my mind, I began to mull over the question: “Does swallowing while giving head make one more attractive?”

My one friend, who I was once involved with said most definitely yes. To him swallowing is a very desired trait for a variety of reasons. As he said himself in this conversation:

“well if you think about it, spiting is a socially frowned upon activity in general
and you do it so well lol
also men prefer a women who swallows it's less messy, it continues the oral sex, and it shows she cares more
So mentally a man would register that at lest subconsciously”

From this, one could almost assume he has greater respect and is willing to show more affection for someone who swallows.

Another friend of mine (who once again I was involved with) says he feels it doesn’t necessarily boost attractiveness, but rather desirability. So to see if this difference is more than mere semantics I consulted Mr. Merriam-Webster. Attractiveness is the quality of arousing interest or pleasure while desirability is the quality of having pleasing attributes or properties. So in reality, the two qualities are not the same. But even with that said, my friend would probably go for someone who swallows over someone who doesn't, despite the latter's attributes.

I personally just enjoy the pleasure it brings my partner when I swallow. Once I lapped cum out of the palm of a lover’s hand. He was in complete awe of me for a few seconds at least. And in truth, that made me so incredible happy and made me feel quite good about myself. Yes, while giving head, it can feel degrading. But that is why I like to do it and I think that is why I swallow. Because in the end, I’m the one who ends up with the power. I have the power to make him cum and make him squirm a little. Personally, I think that makes it worth it.

Am I Kinky?

When ever engaging in sexual activities, the word kinky comes up. I find that I am forced to ponder what kinky really means in general and specifically in my life. So what is kinky?

According to Mr. Merriam-Webster Dictionary, kinky is an adjective with three possible meanings: closely twisted or curled, relating to, having, or appealing to unconventional tastes especially in sex or also sexually deviant, and finally outlandish or far out. Well there it is folks, unconventional sexual practices that could be considered deviant. Anyone who has taken a sociology class knows that deviance is basically not following the norms set by society.

But what is truly unconventional? Is role playing unconventional? If so, then I am unconventional. Is washing the dishes while being pounded from behind kinky? If so then I am kinky. Is talking on the phone with my lover while he is getting a blow job from another girl so all three of us can get off deviant? If so, then I guess I am also deviant.

Okay, so I have to admit I might be a little kinky. But I have met and slept with people whose tastes are quite unconventional, even by my standards. I have also slept with people who are pretty vanilla, where they don’t stray from the same 5 sex positions.

So how do we as people know if we are kinky? How can we introduce ourselves as kinky and have our sexual partner know if that really matches what they desire? I fear by labeling myself as kinky, I will draw people who expect something totally different from sexual activities than I do. I have read a book called Fetish that describes BDSM and other “unconventional” sexual practices, offers definitions for the vocabulary of “kinky” sex practices, and mentions tools of the trade. From this book, I learned more about the practices I like and acquired some ideas. The book was very informative and I quite enjoyed reading it. Based on the content in the book, I would assume my brand of kinky is rather tame. And this, I suppose, is how I would describe myself to perspective lovers.